Love never fails.

I know this is supposed to be a blog about Mike's and my wedding but I'm making this post more about our relationship. Or rather relationships as a whole.

I'm not going to lie. After Mike and I started dating I immediately fell into "high school dating mode" or more like "middle school dating mode". This is where the only time you see each other is during school during or between classes. For some reason, I just didn't feel the need to hang out with Mike a lot. It's crazy that the roles were basically switched around. While he was trying to pursue me, I was making excuses as to why I didn't want to hang out.

I was so used to the aspect of teenage dating that I hadn't grasped the concept of committed dating. Which brings me to this blog's topic.


Dating: the Difference between LOVE and "Being in LOVE"

What has this world come to? When did dating become a pastime? I admit I did it too but seriously, what are we thinking? What is the point of dating a person who you know you are not going to marry? The reason is that we are so bent on getting what we want now, that we are willing to sacrifice our emotions and our hearts to get it.

All the time I hear little middle schoolers or little high schoolers (even though I was just one last year I still call them little) telling each other "I love you" or posting on their facebook "I love so and so so much!" then a week later their status is changed to single. Then the next week "oh now I love so and so" SERIOUSLY!!! do you even know what love is? Do I even know what love is?

We hear so much that the reason for a break up or a divorce is "the feelings just weren't there anymore." What feelings? Love? Love is NOT a feeling. Love is a choice. Love is not the butterflies in your stomach or a falter in your heartbeat (though those are side effects of love) but you know what else are side effects of love? sacrifice, probably some very tired mornings from trying to resolve an issue all night, supporting each other's decisions even though it may not benefit you yourself.

Love is patient, even when you want something now. Love is kind when you so badly want to tell the other person to shut up or to yell at them. Love does not envy other relationships for what they have that you don't have. Love does not boast, is not proud, is not rude or self-seeking (that's sacrifice and supporting each other selflessly). It does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It ALWAYS protects. ALWAYS trusts. ALWAYS hopes and ALWAYS perseveres (which leads me to my next point)

LOVE is not a feeling. Feelings do go along with love, though. Somehow the first feeling of love didn't hit me until about three months into Mike's and my relationship. Enter: butterfly filled stomach, skipping heart and constant smiles. The first feeling of LOVE burns like a wild fire. This is where a lot of people get into trouble (but I'm not writing this post about that). It's passionate. It's hot (like Mike ;) ). It's hanging out all day and texting all night. It's losing sleep. Living in a dream like state ALWAYS thinking about the other person. I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD! kind of LOVE.

IT'S WONDERFUL!!!!

After things finally clicked with me, I was like this. I still am, in a way. I smile just thinking about Mike. His smile. His laugh. His voice. His eyes. His smell. His hands. His arms. I'm smiling now :)

Slowly, this wild fire begins to shrink back into more like a controlled campfire. You still smile whenever you think about each other. But now you realize that sleeping at night is a good idea. You should probably see your friends so they know you haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Know what I mean?

When you get married there's the honeymoon phase which is basically the wildfire EVEN MORE WILD (if you catch my drift *wink wink*) but that's not where it stays.

So many marriages end in divorce just after five years of marriage. Why is that? Because statistically speaking, the first five years of a marriage are the most difficult. You are getting used to sharing your life with another person. Money is tight at first. You learn things about each other that you could not have known before. So many broken marriages could have survived after these five years if the couple would have remembered that "Love ALWAYS perseveres." Through thick and thin. Through the feelings burning like a wild fire and being shaken like a fire in a rainstorm.

Knowing that marriage is only five short months away, I'm trying to cope with the fact that even though I may not always feel passionately in love with Mike, I always will love him. "Love" these days is thought of as a feeling that can be lost. But love is really a promise that can't be broken. If you truly love someone, you can't just wake up one day and "unlove" that person. If you can, it wasn't love to begin with.

I know for a fact that Mike is worth fighting for. He is worth being patient for. He is worth being kind and gentle to. He doesn't deserve to feel like he is incapable of giving me what I feel other relationships have that we don't (I do struggle with envy, and Mike, I'm working on that, because you don't deserve that.) But he also doesn't deserve to be thrown in other people's faces. He is worth sacrificing my own personal wants for. I will be slow to anger and what is in the past will stay in the past.

Love never fails. If it does, it wasn't love to begin with.